Tag Archives: not all there



We Are Not Closed.

You Can Push Yourself Harder.

Stop Signs Are Not Real.

There Is Plenty Of Fucken Meatballs Left.

This mix will make you run harder, dance louder, and scream your mouth out while you get brainwashed and injected with musical fumes.

When it is done,  you will be split open and laughing sideways feening to for..

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Download CD 2

Click CD 4 full mix

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Well Here I am

Here I am. Just staring at the screen trying to think of something that I an say that will make me feel better or explain myself. It sucks to complain because you know everyone has it bad. I think that makes being upset about your life even more trivial and boring and then more infuriating. For years people have told me that I have talent and that I will go places. I feel like I do nothing but go in circles. I have to hand it to myself I am persistent. But with no end in site my heart is weak. I feel like there is no escape from my reality. I keep pushing and pushing and pushing and I see all my freinds and people around me zoom past me in life like its a breeze. I am willing do to do anything to get my independence. It is funny how my goals changed from wanting fame and fortune and recognition to just wanting a hut in the woods that I can own that I can take care of my mother and my sister. I have pretty much have given up on love. I consistently self analyze my own motives and I am never really sure what they are. I am confused by my own lies and I am not even sure of the origin of what is good or what has an alternative motive. The worst thing is that I have to pretend to believe that I can accomplish anything because no matter how hard I try I just see myself as a failure. I feel like the only thing I was ever good at was making a fool out of myself and that got old after A while. The only time that I feel extreme whole is when I am in a relationship and that person sees me for who I am. This validation soars me to levels of unstoppably but is inherently flawed becuase of the unhealthy nature of the situation.

I want bliss, but I am selfish for wanting it, I want to change but I have moods that dictate my actions and sing so wildly that I cant even guarantee the drive I have writing this will make any sense tomorrow morning, but the overall theme is stagnit un changing change.      Ive read all of the books, I have tried most of the methods and things nohing works. Shit I dont even have a real role model. I wish someone could draw me a direct line of what to do so that I can just follow it.

Mid Summer Romace Mix

Got the mid summer blues? Well then this mix is just what you need! Snort up a line of love with this happy go lucky summer mix of all kinds of shit meshed together in a dance music techno jam mix of pure uncut enjoyment for your head holes.

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Mid Summer Romance Mix

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Purposely Keeping Food In Work Fridge To Rot

Life is so fucken crazy. Like, I understand now that I need to do things with keeping in mind of the effect my actions have on other people. But it’s like most of my life i never ever EVER thought that way. I used to think that whatever I could get away with was ok. If i didn’t get caught, it wasn’t wrong. The only rules I lived by was the rule of me.

To be 100% honest I am still not to sure if I was wrong then or right now or neither.. So anyway, I started laughing the other day at work when I was in the kitchen. I had a flash back memory of when I used to work at Phizer. I remember I would purposely hide all kinds of foods that would go bad like apples and chicken in the refrigerator and whenever they would have clean out day I would take them out and put them back in after the cleaning was done.

It started to smell so bad and i remember how I just like loved the idea that my rotting food was affecting everyone else’s food and they couldn’t do anything about it.

One time this guy Marty I worked with tried to get rid of the rotting food and I flipped out at him saying that his fish salad sandwiches are just as bad and nobody has a right to censor my food.

Just off the top of my head I also used to print out fake kitchen rules signs and put them around the kitchen they would read something like

“If you want to drink coffee only drink one cup an hour , extra coffee will be considered theft and will be prosecuted to the highest extent of the law”

There were so many other things that I won’t even get into because I can seriously incinerate myself. My main idea of work and the corporate world that I was completely  convinced of was that everyone that works in an office doesn’t do anything and the way to the top is to lie like crazy and get to know people well enough to use the information that I obtained on them against them,

Allot of my theories actually worked but for whatever reason after a while, as if I could not control myself the temptation to do as many things that are the opposite of what I am supposed to do became to great.  To me the funniest things in the world were to do things that would just be so out of place in the corporate world, or anywhere for that matter.

Absurdity is still one of the biggest draws in funny and awesomeness to me. Like writing “ milk” on an orange juice box , or putting a random watermelon in a toilet bowl. See it’s not really the joke aspect of it it’s the idea of putting something in front of someone that makes no sense whatsoever that they will feel confused by and maybe never resolve because everything makes logical sense. But a watermelon in a toilet bowl doesn’t. I guess I just like to make people feel different then they normally do, yeah I guess I am kind of like a miracle worker.  It’s funny I have been at my job for a year now and I have not done anything crazy and I feel like I should get a huge reward and pat on the back and a speech made for me   “ANTHONY YOU HAVE BEEN SO NORMAL FOR OVER A YEAR HERE! EVERYDAY YOU DO WORK AND YOU REPEAT THAT WORK AGAIN THE NEXT DAY, TRULY YOU ARE AMAZING”  but that doesen thappen, that’s expected. A weel barrel is expected to roll, but I’m not a wheel barrel im a jack hammer that looks like a wheel barrel, or rather trys to look like a wheel barrel.

So maybe I pulled off the look, maybe I’ve finally been accepted as a wheel barrel. But none of the other wheel barrels understand while they are rolling around dirt and rocks like its nothing, I am gathering every effort possible to act like them and do what they do. I should be jack hammering rocks not wheeling them around. Im  like a legless kid that is pretending to have legs solely for the sake of not being embarrassed by the other legged kids. Wait, what the hell I even talking about now?

Anyway , thanks for that brain dump I needed it.